ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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