a queef is a wish your heart makes.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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