I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You can't special order awesome
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
