best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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