I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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