New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
