i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
