Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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