You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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