I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
