yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
