I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
