I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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