How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
