There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So vagazzling was a success
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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