I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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