I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
