Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
