His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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