She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We were destined to go to rehab together
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
