Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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