Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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