he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
we're making bets on your personal life
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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