Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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