scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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