do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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