First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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