Can Purell be used as lube?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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