You just made me feel so damn special
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
