I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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