Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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