I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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