and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
