hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
