I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
