Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
