I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
