Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
