12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My feet surprised me
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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