Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
