he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
