Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
