told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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