he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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