Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
COCAINE IS GR8
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
