How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
