Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
