is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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