Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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