I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
