She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
