You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
