but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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